The Rain Falls and the Sky Shudders
by ar-poe
Summary: Spencer's mind was going into overdrive, running in circles and continuously coming back to that one thought. Established Morgan/Reid relationship, drug recovery, very mild slash. Spoilers for 'The Big Game' and 'Revelations.'


**A/N: **I may have gotten some of the dialogue wrong between Reid and Hankel, but, well... Oh, well, I don't have any of the scripts. Oh, and this is unbetaed, so all mistakes are my own. :)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Criminal Minds_.

Spencer's mind was going into overdrive, running in circles and continuously coming back to that one thought. _This has gotta be a test. They're settin' me up_.

He bit the inside of his lip then, hands nervously gripping the material of his slacks as he blinked rapidly, but never taking his eyes off of the bottle despite how much he told himself to do just that.

_They know. They put that there because they know; they want to make sure I'm reliable._

"Reid?"

Spencer snorted then when he heard the voice, his mind almost convincing him that that voice was coming from one of those small, white tablets, and Spencer found that to be the most amusing thing in the world.

"Reid." The voice was closer now, too close, which caused Spencer's muscles to tense and his shoulders to draw up as he continued his deep observation. "Kid. What the hell is wrong with you?"

That definitely wasn't the bottle talking, that was something real and stern and he really, really didn't need this right now.

Spencer lifted his eyes then, making eye contact with the deep, chocolate brown eyes. "What are yo-" Derek's eyes drifted down from Spencer's face and to the table where the bottle of Vicodin sat, and his eyes filled with understanding and concern and anger. He took in a deep breath, trying his best to formulate a sentence or to at least complete his last one. "What are you doing to yourself? Why won't you talk to me?"

"I-" Spencer's head was reeling, looking for any escape or alternate explanation. He had kept it a secret for so long, and he had worked so hard to become and stay clean, Derek had helped him work so hard, but that was his problem. He couldn't admit to a damn thing. Not yet.

"I'm not doing anything. I didn't do anything. They were just... They were just sitting there." Spencer was pleading. He stood up suddenly and jammed his trembling hands deep into his pockets. He walked across the small break room as he chewed his lip, and turned his back, examining the floor and cabinets. "I didn't do anything." He whispered.

"I came in here to get the bottle that Agent Stevenson left when he came in for coffee. The prescription is for his nerve damage from that last case." Derek said calmly, watching for any reaction at all.

Spencer nodded as he maintained his previous position. "I didn't touch it. I didn't read the label."

"And all the pills are in here?" Spencer nodded again, his breath hitching as he did so. Derek snatched up the bottle off the counter and slipped it into his pocket.

"Spencer." Derek began again, taking a few steps and stopping in front of Spencer, looking him in the eye with the most understanding expression. "Let me in, Spence. Talk to me."

"I really..." Spencer drew in a deep breath then and let it out, seeming to gain his composure and becoming just a little more confident. "I really have to get back to my files. I'll see you at home."

Derek watched as Spencer left the room and closed his eyes for a brief second. He recognized this behavior and he knew Spencer better then Spencer probably knew himself. He had watched _Intervention_, and he had read books, and even gone to support groups himself. He knew.

And when Derek got home that night four hours and twenty-seven minutes after Spencer, he went straight to the bathroom and to the medicine cabinet before Spencer could even open his mouth from the couch at the opening of the hallway.

"There were thirty-two pills in this bottle this morning, Spencer!" Derek stood in front of Spencer in the living room, holding the prescription pain bottle for Spencer's leg injury for Spencer to see. Clooney stood up then when Derek raised his voice, protecting Spencer at the sign of tension.

"There are twenty-eight left." Spencer didn't say anything and kept his eyes transfixed on the television screen, flicking back and forth with the speeding lights and bright pixels. "Look at me." Derek snapped, grabbing his chin and propping his head up to look in his dilated pupils.

"Jesus Christ, Spence." And that's when it happened. Spencer squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back tears, and blinked rapidly when he opened them. "I don't know..." Spencer whispered, his eyes fluttering up to meet Derek's.

Derek sighed then as he stared at Spencer, his Spencer, his brilliant and strong and amazing Spencer, and sat down next to him on the couch. Derek wrapped his arm around Spencer's shoulders and gently pulled him closer until Spencer had comfortably placed his head in his lap, pulling his arms tighter to his chest and pressed his forehead to Derek's leg, trying his best not to cry.

"You were doing so well... What happened?" Derek began running his hands through Spencer's hair, trying his best to calm his nerves and emotions, as well as his own, and just let Spencer breath.

"Today happened. It was just sitting there, and I just... I don't know. I wanted it so badly."

Derek closed his eyes as Spencer spoke. He had been clean for fourteen months, and he knew about the grieving process in addiction recovery. He had read his share of magazine articles and online material. He knew Spencer, and he knew what this was doing to him.

"You know," Spencer began so quietly and softly that Derek had to open his eyes again and listen closely. "The first two times Tobias gave it to me, I didn't want it." Derek looked down to the back of Spencer's head as he laid there, his unkempt hair falling into his face despite Derek's stroking. "It made me relive memories I didn't want to relive, and by the third time, I tried to tell him no, but he said 'you can't tell me it doesn't make it better.' And I stopped fighting it."

"You know what I think?" Derek whispered after a few minutes of silence, wishing to God that every one of those tense muscles he could feel in Spencer's body would relax.

"What?"

Derek's hand traveled from Spencer's hair down to the small of his back as he did everything he could to comfort him. "I think you're the strongest and most amazing man I've ever met."

Spencer stirred then and turned over on his side before placing his head back in Derek's lap. He could see Spencer's eyes begin to close and his chest moving up and down much more comfortably than before, and finally when Spencer had fallen asleep in Derek's lap, he brushed his wavy hair from his face and kissed his forehead.

"And I meant that."

_End._


End file.
